Got a toothbrush?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
