and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
