I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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