Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
