so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
