I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
