I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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