how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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