I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
