Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
