It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
jump out the window naked night went bad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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