That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
