What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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