ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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