I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
