do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
