your thong is hanging out like whoa
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize