Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's always time for handjobs
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
