The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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