R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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