your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
