I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
