I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
