So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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