Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
