Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
