She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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