Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
