I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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