You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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