Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
