So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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