Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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