Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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