Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
