Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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