last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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