we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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