Nicole vs. Life
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
