don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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