why didn't you poke me back
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Randomize
