We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
