So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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