forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
