well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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