i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
