you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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