ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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