Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
