Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
