oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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