how hairy? two words: wookie tits
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
