fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
