so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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