I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
