I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize