He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
