So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
