Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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