One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
