About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
