there's paper in my vomit.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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