I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize