A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize